Category: Dating and Relationships
hi there, internet love can work for some of the people but not every relationship on internet can last for long. how about phone? phone is another way for communicate as well. will you feel phone is more true than internet? at least you can here her / his voice. how true he / she is compare to internet?
If I ever get into a relationship it will be in real life. I don't think phone or Internet can work. Caitlin
I mean, by all means, make friends and relationships and keep them, but not like ... "Oh, I've talked to you on the phone and the Internet for a day, let's get married!". lol. But I love the Internet for meeting new friends. I'm just not old enough for this kind of thign yet. So call me stupid. But that's how I feel. I'd be scared of a relationship over the Net or phone because I'd feel there was a barrier between me and the other person. But that's just me.
Well I definitely agree with Caitlin. If you're in a phone relation with someone, you cannot know that person very deeply even if you believe you do know him/her so well. And just as an aside, my cousin was involved in an internet relationship with a guy from mexico city, about 600 miles or 1000 kilometers away from town. Well they kept this internet/phone relation for about two years or so, then they met, fell in love with each other, and got married. Well you know what, now they llead a kinda unhappy marriage because they didn't know each other very well by the time they got married, and they cannot separate from each other very easily because now they have a little boy. so it's not like, hey, I didn't like you, so let's divorce. So in short, no, I don't like internet/phone relationships. they might work if what you want is a friend, but if you're looking for a couple... I don't think they would.
Laters..
Joaquín
hmm i have a similar experience like your cousin do. but i'm lucky enough that i'm not involve in a marrage. anyway, all have past. now i just don't believe in net lover either on phone. but i still hope that you zoners will get your true love in whatever kind of communication. of course internet and phone can bring your relationship closer. but still, becareful. you might think that i'm a person who don't fully trust my friend. yes i am, cause i have lots of discouragement from my past.
I beg to differ on whether it can work. At least the Internet part. I'm an example of a very happy marriage. *smile* And you can't use one example to compare everything else to, that is simply to general... It simply depends on the people, how honest they are, and how much they want to put in to it...After all any relationship is a 2 way street. With what your saying I should have never gotten married in the first place considering the only happy marriage I ever had first hand witness to was my grand parents, and they still had hell...
Only thing phone is good for is phone bone.
hmm i agree with what WC said. but now another question appear. how honest you are behind the phone compare to the net? if you can be more like yourself, why you can't do the same on the net? thanks. cheers. of course i hope all of you can write of your experience. i will write one later.
I was talking about this just last night with someone and I can honestly say that I could never have such a relationship. You are never going to know what someone's like until you meet them, not really. I've made what I consider to be some truelly great friends on the net, some that I hope to meet next year, but there's no way I'd commit myself to saying that I was in a relationship with any of them or anyone in general until I've met them. Pluss, I couldn't do the whole distance thing. I'm far to paranoid for that. That's not to say that there isn't anyone out there that I don't like, but I can't really know that until I meet him, if I ever do, so until then, I'll just consider him as an incredibly good friend and be greatful for that. If things change, it's coz they are meant to.
I have to agree with sugar on this one. Although, if someone is going to misrepresent themselves then you'll never know either on the phone, on the internet, or in person. Like others have said, it depends on how honest you are with eachother. More so it depends on how honest you are with yourself. Alot of times we overlook things in order that the relationship will continue, then when we get confortable, those things we overlooked in the corting phase of the relationship resurface and that causes trouble in the relationship. This can happen over the phone, over the internet, or even in person. Whichever medium you choose to look for love you must be honest with your self. You gotta know what you want and and what you don't like. You kinda gotta be willing to let this one go, for a better catch. So, it really depends on you weather any of those mediums will work. Some people force them to work internet, phone, or person. Then all of a sudden their not happy and don't know why.
D-
A relationship simply cannot be a romantic relationship until the two people meet each other. Sure, you can have inklings of a good friendship, or even a possible romance, through the net or the phone. But you can't have legitimate romantic feelings for someone who lives thousands of miles away and whom you have never met.
sure. this is something full of dramatic and..... not a real one.
"A relationship simply cannot be a romantic relationship until the two people meet each other. Sure, you can have inklings of a good friendship, or even
a possible romance, through the net or the phone. But you can't have legitimate romantic feelings for someone who lives thousands of miles away and whom
you have never met."
I have to disagree, Leaffan. My GF and I have been dating for almost a year, have never met, and we love each other *very* much. Although, I'll admit, it won't work for everyone. Have relationships in whatever form best suits you.
Hmmm. Interesting takes on this. You're all quite convincing. I stand by my above posts still, but I do know that some people have made internet/phone relationships work. I know, too, that some have worked out greatly, and some not so greatly. Caitlin
I too beg to differ about making love work when you've never met. I loved my husband before I met him and he me. Nothing has changed to this day accept for our love has grown, but that will happen in any good relationship. How could I love him when I'd never met him? It's simple, we shared the same interests, he accepted me for me, he was kind and considerate, I was attracted strongly to his voice...(voice is always the first thing I notice.). Beyond that I can't explain, but who can truly explain why they love someone?
Wc your on the ball. Who knows why someone is attracted to another, it just haoppens. As far as feelings goes well, to be frank you can't control those either. it depends on the person and the situation. There's my two cents.
D-
I think that if you fall in love with someone over the phone, or over the internet, you have fallen in love with your perception of that person. It is true to say that the phone gives a new dimention to a relationship, and once you talk in person suddenly the internet can seem not enough, but you can never truely know, until you meet in person
But sugar arn't you usally falling in love with the perception you have of someone? When you think about it most of us bairly know ourselves, let alone another.
dragon fire I happen to agree with you perceptions are the same everywhere no matter if it's the net the phone or real life.
My boyfriend matrix (his user name on the zone) and I talk on the phone all the time. infact we find the net itself rather cold and jaws, well for those of you who don't know jaws it can really stuff ya up sometimes if your trying to get a message across in writing. it sounds like it's constantly yelling at ya, so if matrix and I want to have a serious and deep conversation wear it's important that we hear the emotions in each other's voices we leave it for the phone.
ok I hear you say I must have a huge phone bill. not at all. I use calling cards to call him, I have found one here that lets me call the US for 1 cent a min. cant get any cheaper then that lol.
good luck to anyone out there who is in a simular story to me. and if you need any support your welcome to read my profile and contact me. btw matrix and I plan to meet in July this year for those of you who don't know.
the air fairs between australia and the US are shocking if they were cheaper we would of got the meeting thing done with in the first few months of being together.
I agree with Caitlin. Some of my friends have had or are in long distance net/phone relationships and for some of them it works. For me I would rather have someone I can go out with, hold hands, cuddle and physically be with all the time. I have nothing against those who are in them they just aren't for me.
yes cuddles and hugs is something won't happen on the phone no matter how close / far he / she is. when you need his / her support, when you having diffeculty your lover is not beside you, is kind of suffer as well. even though you know he / she care for you so much on phone, but i believe is much difference from he / she is beside you. a cuddle is stronger than thousands word.
i have few relationship on the phone before. we get to know each other from the phone, and talk for sometime before we meet each other. some of them can be a very close friend until now, but of course have the exception one. after all this, i realise i can have a strong relationship between girls but not for guies. any difference? even on phone, we can treat each other like sisters, but why this won't happen between a girl and a guy?
I agree with all of you on some level or another, but my Sis, WC said it best. I can say this even after a failed marriage wich started as a phone relationship. All relationships must have one common thing, whether it be phone, net, or in person. Time, and lots of it. Honesty, trust, common ground, openness (on the part of both parties), and the willingness to give as well as recieve. Anything can work if two people put there hearts in to it. I know, even after all that i have been through, if I found someone that I deeply cared for, and if he returned those same feelings, I could withstand the distance. It would be well worth it. You'll do anything if you really love someone.
About the whole phone love thing, my fiance and I have been together for more than 2 years now and we both started our relationship by phone. We wrote letters and didn't get to see each other a lot at all because my parents were so strict. Now that I'm with him all the time, our love is still going strong and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. I am not denying that we don't have our little arguments but I think that is just normal; like any other couple.
Well, hope my experience helps you... I sware we spent more time on the phone talking than we had to ever see each other. We actually really got to be together only since June and things aren't desperately miserable right now.
phone relationships are hard, i am at college and me and my x found it hard just talking on the phone, we spoke as mutch as poss but u do argue and that gets to you, but when ever we tryed using msn or any thing like that it more ofen than not ened in 1 of feeling confused. its os so cold and sarcastick sounding. my frend calls it the relationship braker. if u realy love some 1 u can get threw but u both need to have the love there. from expirianse 1 usualy brakes. but sum make it threw, if your in a net or phone relationship or longdistence good luck and have time and trust, thats important.
I am not sure. I can't see myself ever experiencing a love relationship over the phone, but I guess it can be done. You have to TOTALLY trust the person though, because it would be really easy for someone to say they're twenty and really be fifty or something like that. That's something that scares me. They could be lying about their names, ages, and if it was just internet, location.
I met my fiance online about six years ago. We only began a relationship about a year and a half ago. However, it started out purely on the phone before we finally met. We see each other about four-five times a year and do the rest by phone. If the right two people meet, I say anything is posible.
we used to see eatch other ever 2 weeks, but like i sed b4 no matter how hard u try it still can fayel, dont trust it and rely on it to work
call me selfish if you will, but I need the physical aspects of a relationship just as much--if not more so--than I do the emotional ones, such as talking and the like. I don't think that you can have a successful relationship without both of those things, and even if you do manage it, it usually doesn't end up lasting. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but that's simply the way I see it.
As I said in a previous post, I think that although I know it is possible to develop very strong feelings for someone over the internet, and I believe that talking to them over the phone will intensify those feelings, and make everything seem that much more real, I do believe that there have to be concrete plans to meet in the future, otherwise what would be the point of conducting the relationship?
It depends on the individuals. If both parties are equally committed and in love, and they meet on a fairly regular basis, then i think it can work. However, problems arise when there are issues of trust and doubt.
yes. still back to very begin of a relationship. how truely you are on net, phone and so on. of course, you can't 100% truss one another on net either phone but still.... thats much much depends on how true you are and i always believe that they will give you the same as you give to them. so, if you are the pretending one, the one you talk with, will be the same.
I think that if someone meets the other person first, and decides to form a relationship then it can work. I have been in an internet/phone relationship with Inesle for over 6 months now, and, yes, it is true that being together and the net and the phone are very different, but I believe that it can work out.
well here is the deal with internet love. see, with the programs now like skype or vt you can hear someone's voice as well. But I still do think a real relationship is the best way to go.
I have had one phone/internet relationship. Never again. When it comes to dateing, I'm meeting whomever it is, first. Period.
phone relationships just arent for me, i have to have physical contact with the person. otherwise, without the physical aspect of things, what is a relationship?
I agree with Sugar on this one. .. I really use to think that LDR's (long distance relationships) wouldn't worry me, if I loved them enough, definitely and it holds no limits. I do disagree mostly with some of these views that, you can't get to know the person quite the same way. I mean I dunno. guess I use to get angry with these views, but now I've come out of my first LDR - a lot of reasons involved but maybe one of them being that we know each other very well (as we'd been good friends for a while), we didn't know each other in person. and I guess I couldn't deal with that in the end.
And in LDR's if it's going to last, one has to move. and it's an almighty big decision.
I know for me personally, I now know that I don't want to move countries. and at the same time, I'd feel horrible up-routing someone else.
As sugar has said, what-ever will be will be though (as I always state myself) but until I meet the right one it just will not work.
I know some people who have a set rule already that they won't even go there when they meet people.It's a good thing because they at least know their limits.
I've learnt a lot in my first relationship. short, but did teach me a lot about myself and being comitted to others.
lol I know that was scattered but ah well .. a lot to ponder with the topic!
well, I actually think that there are two kinds of relationships being referred to here. the first is an "actual" relationship, whereby the people have already met, and perhaps are having to live some distance apart for whatever reason, and the majority of the relationship is then conducted over the phone. The other is the online relationship where the people have not as yet met, and are, again, conducting their relationship over the phone. The difference here is that these people often do not get to meet for some time,and it is this type of relationship that is considerably more difficult to maintain. After all, after a period, talking over the internet becomes not enough, so you move to talking over the phone, after some time of doing that, you begin to want more, and that is when the need to meet up occurs, if this does not happen, then the relationship potentially will not last for long, unless there is a concrete plan to meet, and you have that in sight.
as for long distance relationships, not all of these are doombed to failure, but again, there has to be a concrete plan to be together some time in the future. I have personlly had two long distance relationships. The first was when I left South Africa and left a boyfriend behind - we had been together for over a year at the time, but it wasn't possible for me to stay in SA because I did not have a job and no means of income. So I came back here with the intention of going back. However after a year of being apart, I found out that waiting had become too much for him and that he found someone else. It was inevitable really as we were so far apart and conducted all of our relationship over the phone - the internet was not so readily available back then. The second relationship however, did work out, we met on holiday and continued seeing each other - he was in university so we only saw each other some weekends, not quite the same as being in another country but not together all the time either. We did this for nearly two years before we were able to be together. So all is not lost, and if you want to be together enough, then it is possible, if the love is there, then the ability is there.
I think that phone love is good or bad depending on how you look at it!!! To some of you on this site it might not work, but to me it worked out well!!! take a look at my relationship. I been going out with my fiance sexy a little over two years now and we live together for about a year. and every day, every morning we wake up we still say I love you to one another!!! and are still going strong at it and we are hoping to love for life!!!.
Phone love, theres alot of advantages and disadvantages to it. advantages are communication with that person ya love, disadvantages is big phone bills. i want a real relationship where i can see that person and hang out and have fyn. its good to call someone to plan for the week ends and hear his voice and talk for a while but its a bad idea to talk for hours and hours. just see that person and talk to him/ her in person. you'll both have more fun FUN 111
Well, all I can say is, after 4 years of talking to, and getting to know and becoming best friends with the wonderful man I am now with, phone/internet relationships can work if you really work at it. Sure, the distance is hard, and whenyou do get together in person, it isso much better. I know that I personally am glad I fell in love with my best friend, and we are now making permenant plans to be together with no phone or computer standing in our way. I love him, and time will only make that stronger.
Hi all! I don't think phone or internet love works. You have to meet the person in real life in order to decide if they are right for you. That is just my opinion.
it can work though. It may have problems but it always work through them.
I firmly believe it's the individuals in the relationship. Weather it be over the net, leading to the phone, and then in person, yes it can work, but if the people involved want it to. You both have to be willing
Maybe a percentage better but not much and no, I don't think it will ever work that way.
I totally agree with post 23.
Whether you are in a phone, internet, local, or long distance relationship, both people need to trust each other, be honest, and to give and receive their time, friendship, and love. It can work if both people really want it to and if they can be there for one another through both the good and bad times. I think if both people really love each other, they will do whatever it takes to make it work.